Death anniversaries and widowed wedding anniversaries have a lot in common. One of the best ways to help grieving friends through both is by letting them know you’re aware of their pain.
Anniversaries are different after a loved one’s death. And there are more of them than there were before.
My first wedding anniversary after my husband died was/would have been our 25th. (Note my confused tense. Since he was gone, did I still count each new year as an anniversary? Or did the numbers freeze at 24, the last we spent together?)
Ten months into widowhood, I was “still” in shock. I remember only two things about my first widowed wedding anniversary:
- It hurt too much for “happy anniversary” greetings to be welcome.
- It hurt worse not having it acknowledged at all.
The kindest contacts let me know they were thinking of me — and of my loss. I read my friends’ support in texts, emails, Facebook messages, handwritten notes, and cards. Others left phone messages I heard later (because I didn’t feel inclined to answering the phone that day).
If you’re wondering whether…
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